Sunday, June 29, 2014

"Hopeless" (book review)


Hopelessly in love with this book by Colleen Hoover.
She will break your heart, twist your gut, and swoon you with love from Holder.

Warning: There is sexual content in this book, both sensual and sexual abuse. 

Title: Hopeless
Author: Colleen Hoover
Genre:  Romance, New Adult College, Angst
Rating: 5 stars!







(rating system) I am not being compensated or swayed for this review in anyway.  Well, that's a lie it is my love of books that sways me..
No copyright intended for photos, book quotes, etc. 

Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies.
        
That's what Linden Sky Davis realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she's never had before.  He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of their first encounter.
        
Sky struggles to keep him at a distance, but Holder insists on learning everything about her. Unable to deny their intense connection, Sky finally caves to his unwavering pursuit.  However, she soon discovers that Holder's erratic and unpredictable behavior comes with a very good explanation.  One that will ultimately test her faith in the hopeless boy she's fallen in love with and in the only life she's ever known.   
Recommended for ages 17+ due to language and sexual situations.

-Amazon description

Spoiler alert past this point, you have been warned!

"completely and comfortably numb" - Hopeless (Sky)

Sky from the start is a dynamic character, you can sense something traumatic has happened to her, not by the tell tell signs, but by the small things.  Things that aren't normal for teenage girls, she is numb to feeling.  She is overly sheltered and she doesn't really question it.  You learn that she is actually keeping her mind sheltered and not letting too much in.  Her personality is wonderful in the way that she doesn't let things that would break most people get to her.  Her strength shows from the start.  Hoover captivated me with four words and that was "completely and comfortably numb", it reached in me and held me within the pages of this book. I knew it was going to make me laugh and cry all within it's pages, but I continued on. 

Insert Holder and things really start to spin because from the start he is the oddest character (on the verge of bi-polar) I have read, but I fall in love with him.  We learn that he is extremely passionate and holds so much wisdom, but he also holds truths that will ruin and shatter the world that Sky lives in.

"I'm afraid you won't feel it." - Hopeless (Holder)

In anticipation of their first kiss, he fears she won't feel it, but he has done nothing but make her feel since she met him and boy does she feel so many emotions in this book.  I did find it a little odd the way their relationship progressed as far as sensually, they kind of worked in reverse, but it made them that more interesting.  It showed me things about them that I can't really explain.  

Now, I usually don't read books with sexual content, but it wasn't too over the top and it didn't encompass the emotions or their love story so I dealt with it. 

Holder is so passionate and even Sky describes him as such, he brings her back into living and I love that they live each other.  Their relationship starts out rocky, but soon Holder is her rock and her confidence and it is truly beautiful. 

I really enjoyed the way that Hoover spoke through Sky about when Holder was taking parts of her heart and it was so emotionally beautiful when she gave him the very last piece of her heart.

"You stole the biggest piece of my heart that night."..... "I need you to watch me give you the very last piece of my heart."

Sigh.... true love from the start, fate really worked in their lives.  As the lies and truths unravel it is painful, shocking, and sickening, but Sky's strength is a beautiful thing and when she isn't strong she has Holder.  

Hoover also closes it up nicely, you get a happy beginning more than a happy ending because they are just starting to heal and they know it will take time, but they have a love that is more beautiful than the sky and you can picture them as each others forevers.  

"He reaches his hand out and wraps his pinky around mine."

I think I literally sighed, it was so beautiful and I actually love that she ended with a memory, a flashback, instead of the usually "So and so years later" ending, it was perfect for this book.

This book is a true roller coaster, but Hoover did an amazing job of wrapping it up and also making you feel every emotion that was put before you.  If you like to have your heart broke, repaired, and feel forever changed with a character this book is for you. 






Sunday, June 22, 2014

Allegiant (book review)

"One choice will define you"

Title: Allegiant 
Author: Veronica Roth
Genre: Young adult, Dystopian World
Rating: 4 stars 
Click here for my rating system...

Book 3 of the Divergent series: Click each title to read Book 1 & 2 reviews; Divergent Review & Insurgent review 

I am not being compensated or swayed for this review in anyway.  Well, that's a lie it is my love of books that sways me..
No copyright intended for photos, book quotes, etc. 


Amazing Description:

What if your whole world was a lie?
What if a single revelation—like a single choice—changed everything?
What if love and loyalty made you do things you never expected?

Spoiler alert past this point, you have been warned!

Edith Prior

We finished off the second book with a shocking revelation, that there were people outside the walls and that divergents where meant to join them.  This revelation leads us into a whole new direction in the book.  Now, it isn't just the people around them, it is the people outside the walls we never knew existed. 

Trust has been an obstacle for Tris and Tobias, but in the beginning of this book as she is locked up for going against the factionless he ask her to trust him.

"I'm trying to trust him.  But every part of me, every fiber and every nerve, is straining toward freedom, not just from this cell but from the prison of the city and beyond it.
    I need to see what's outside the fence."

We all know when Tris sets her mind to something it becomes so and so we know that the group will go outside the wall, but we have no idea what they will find.   

One thing that was hard for me to adjust to and honestly is part of the reason it didn't get five stars is that Roth switches POV's on us during the book.  Almost every chapter she switches from Tobias to Tris and back and forth.  Even though it is necessary for us to see the full picture I find it frustrating.  

The two love birds don't fully trust each other and even once they exit the city truths they are told about GD and GP's put another difference between them.  It isn't a big deal to Tris, but to Tobias it validates everything his abusive father told him as a child.  In so many ways Tobias is a child trying to fight his way out from under his parents influence.  

Our favorite characters do not escape war and harm once outside the city, they have just found a new war.  The war between GD and GP's.  Tobias and Tris both want to do different things with the truth (they honestly act a little immature about it, blaming jealousy, showing their true age) and Tobias refuses to accept Tris' instincts which ends with one of their close friends being harmed and never able to recover.  Adding more guilt to Tobias and that weight bares down on him.  His decision and the repercussions nearly tear him and Tris apart for good.  

"Just as I have insisted on his worth, he has always insisted on my strength, insisted that my capacity is grater than I believe.  And I know, without being told, that's what love does, when it's right--it makes you more than you were, more than you thought you could be.

This is right."

They of course find their way back to each other, true love can survive anything...

This book wasn't my favorite and I wonder if it was Roth's plan on how the series would go all along or if she forced it.  I don't know and some may feel differently, but she really didn't truly pull me in until...

He(Caleb) is a part of me, always will be, and I am a part of him, too. I don't belong to Abnegation, or Dauntless, or even the Divergent.  I don't belong to the Bureau or the experiment of the fringe.  I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me--they, and the love and loyalty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group could.  

    I love my brother.  I love him, and he is quaking with terror at the thought of death.   

"Caleb," I say. "Give me the backpack."

She sacrifices herself, but not in the grief stricken way in the previous book.  This is the ultimate sacrifice, like the ones her parents made.  It is truly for the people she loves and she truly believes she will survive it and I believe it too.

"If I don't survive," I say, "tell Tobias I didn't want to leave him."

Her last words to her brother, to the love of her life. 

All books end with a happy ending right?

Well, not this one and I am okay with that. She does survive the death serum, but she doesn't survive the evil of people. Actually, I think it is the biggest risk that Roth took and I think it was perfect because even the Hero's don't live forever.  It was the ultimate sacrifice and I honestly think Roth couldn't have closed up the series better.  It wasn't the BS happily ever after that you usually get, it was raw and real and I respect it.  

"There are so many ways to be brave in this world.  Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else.  Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.

But sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life.  

That is the sort of bravery I must have now" -Tobias

I realize this isn't a really great review, but I just wasn't feeling it..  I was really only passionate about the ending, sadly, but it was still a wonderful series and I honestly will read them again some day.






Thursday, June 19, 2014

Life is happening now..


              STOP waiting and START doing! I am having one of those emotional life altering - waking up days; not sure if that was even a sentence, but if you get what I am saying or you want to get it then please keep reading.  I have a very blessed life, I have an amazing husband and two great daughters.  I have a family that I love dearly.  I have faith and Jesus on my side, even when I may not deserve it.   

            Honestly, I live a very content life, but is it a fulfilling life?  Am I living it to the fullest?  I have put things off for years, eight years to a decade if we're counting.  I have spent days wasting my time on things that don't matter instead of reaching for my dreams and completely giving my undivided attention to my loved ones.  We have put off date nights, vacations, and lots of other things that are days we can't get back.  As I look at my children, who are now seven and four I realize a lot of days have passed by without us doing a single thing significant.  I have spent seven years saying I was going to get into the best shape of my life, that I would do things I have always dreamed of doing, but I haven't.  I always say "tomorrow" then tomorrow comes and more time is wasted.  We aren't guaranteed tomorrow, we only right NOW! Just the thought of losing someone you love will kick you into gear or being called home before your fulfilled the roll God has laid out for you.  If your child or spouse ask you to stop cleaning/working/etc and do something with them, do it!  More importantly, if the Lord calls you to do something, stop what you are doing and DO IT!

           Find quiet moments to listen to God, we have a purpose in this life and to fulfill it we must listen.  We must allow him to guide us, don't waste these days he has given us.  Embrace them and set out on the path you are meant to be on.  


              I am not saying that you or I can't have a lazy day, a day where we just relax and escape from all the responsibilities.  I am not telling you that you have to do something huge everyday.  I am just saying that you shouldn't put it off, listen to his plan, make your plan and live everyday to the fullest.  I honestly feel like the easiest way to look at how time passes is through our children (or ourselves if you don't have children) think back a week, a month, six months, or even a year and look at how much has happened in that time, how much your children have grown.  How much more could you have done? Think of something you have wanted, something you have put off; if you started a year ago where would you be now?   Don't wait for a destination, get started and enjoy the journey that is life.  Don't look at how far you have to go, we aren't in a race to get to a certain point, we are on a journey that is a gift to us and we must use it wisely.  



                Today I will start/do something I have put off.  I will spend time strengthening my relationship with Jesus, I will figure out a plan and I will pursue my dreams, I will cherish everyday with my loved ones. I will thank the Lord for this gift of life given to me, this time I will never get back.  I pray that you do too....



Monday, June 16, 2014

June Fitness Log


June 2014 Fitness Log
1st - Rest Day
2nd - 



5th, 6th, 7th - I had strep so I took rest days

8th - 8 basketball 3 on 3 games, outside in 3 hours


9th - yoga and hill sprints, with my 2 daughters and niece 




















10th - Upper Body
11th - Lower Body
12th - Full Body
13th - Hill Sprints
14th - Lots of walking
15th - Rest Day
16th - 1 mile
17th-
18th-Rest
19th-Yoga
20th-Full body
21st-Rest
22nd-Yoga
23rd-
24th-
25th-
26th-
27th-
28th-
29th-
30th-

Insurgent ~ Book Review

"One choice can destroy you"
One character can make you feel that destruction

Title: Insurgent
Author: Veronica Roth
Genre: Young adult, Dystopian World
Rating: 4 stars 

Click here for my rating system...

If you LOVE a character that struggles with her choices and the choices she is forced to continue to make, then you will love this book.  If you love a love that isn't easy, then Tobias (Four) and Tris are for you.  Their world is falling apart, a war has started and they both are fighting for something different, but also some of the same things.  You just have to read it or my review :)

I am not being compensated or swayed for this review in anyway.  Well, that's a lie it is my love of books that sways me..
No copyright intended for photos, book quotes, etc. 

One choice can transform you—or it can destroy you. But every choice has consequences, and as unrest surges in the factions all around her, Tris Prior must continue trying to save those she loves—and herself—while grappling with haunting questions of grief and forgiveness, identity and loyalty, politics and love.
Tris's initiation day should have been marked by celebration and victory with her chosen faction; instead, the day ended with unspeakable horrors. War now looms as conflict between the factions and their ideologies grows. And in times of war, sides must be chosen, secrets will emerge, and choices will become even more irrevocable—and even more powerful. Transformed by her own decisions but also by haunting grief and guilt, radical new discoveries, and shifting relationships, Tris must fully embrace her Divergence, even if she does not know what she may lose by doing so.
New York Times bestselling author Veronica Roth's much-anticipated second book of the dystopian Divergent series is another intoxicating thrill ride of a story, rich with hallmark twists, heartbreaks, romance, and powerful insights about human nature.

Spoiler alert past this point, you have been warned!

"An hour ago, nothing that happened felt real to me.  Now it does." -Insurgent

How powerful those words felt for me because I knew at the end of Divergent Tris was going to have to struggle emotionally in this next book.  That she was going to have to face what happened and what was going to happen in the aftermath.  I had a hard time rating this book, I really wanted to give it five stars because Roth's work is great, but I just couldn't.  I felt like something in Tris and Tobias'(Four really transitions to Tobias in this book), anyway I feel like something is missing from their relationship.  I honestly can't tell you what it is at this point, maybe there are walls there and maybe I should give Roth 5 stars because she makes you feel it, perhaps that is the reason, but I am unsure so four stars.

"I only worked there because I wanted to be sure I could get out." (Tobias) 
I shiver.  The way he talks about getting out- it's like he thinks we're trapped.  I never thought about it that way before, and now that seems folish." -Insurgent

I knew when reading this and recalling the fact that in the first book it mentioned that the lock seemed to trap them rather than keep anyone out and knew this would be a part of the story, I could feel it.  

"They often straddle the line between trust and stupidity." -Tris thinks of the Amity

This was the first thing about Amity that is said or described by Tris that stands out to me.  Then I connect and I may have before this point, but consciously I connect that with one good thing comes a bad thing with each faction.  Nothing is perfect, nothing is completely right or really whole. 

"When he touches me, the hollowed-out feeling in my chest and stomach is not as noticeable." -Tris, Insurgent

Ahh, now that is the sappy stuff I love, but Tris and Tobias do not trust each other. The guilt over Will is so much for Tris to bare, it effects her so deeply into her soul. Throughout the whole book they hide things from each other, I feel like a rift comes into their relationship and perhaps that is where the wall I spoke of before is formed.  

"I don't believe it's more important to move forward than to find out the truth.  When I found out that I was Divergent... when I found out that Erudite would attack Abnegation... those revelations changed everything.  The truth has a way of changing a person's plans."....  
"So I agree.  But I do not change my mind."

That little bit is after Tris over hears Marcus and Johanna about the timing of the attack and information that the Abnegation was going to release.  This sets another rift within them, setting them on a path they don't yet know they are on. 

"My head pounds, a sign that I am calming down.  The graying Amity man opens a door on the left.  A label on the door says CONFLICT ROOM.  

"Are you putting me in time-out or something?" I scowl.  That is something the Amity would do: put me in time-out..."

Oh Roth's humor showing in Tris' character, I recall this made laugh out loud and I had to highlight it.  The Amity do seem very "that it parent" to me, like the parent that believes only in all organic things, speaking quietly, and time-out to avoid conflict. 

I really loved that we spent some time among the Amity, to really see how diverse the factions are.

"You froze! Someone was about to kill you and you just sat there!" He(Tobias) is yelling now.  "I thought I could rely on you at least to save your own life!"
      "Hey!" says Caleb.  "Give her a break all right?"
      "No," says Tobias, staring at me. "She doesn't need a break."  His voice softens. "What happened?"

He still believes I am strong enough that I don't need his sympathy.  I used to think he was right, but now I am not sure."

So very human in that moment, she has reacted and held together so well, she has always reacted in some way, but here she freezes.  It is very out of character for her, but it shows how much killing Will effects her.  During that I was yelling at Tobias to be nice and then I recalled he didn't know about Will.  Tris obviously suffers from PTSD

"I wish we were alone," he says.
"I almost always wish that," I say.

They do love each other! I feel like their relationship is on a constant roller coaster in this book, with the lies, the dependency and then the disagreement and Independence from each other.  It is hard to keep or hold onto a feeling with these two.  Although, I imagine it would be hard to maintain in the world they are in, so once again I applaud Roth.

"I imagine only chaos and isolation."

Tris thinks this as Evelyn explains her plan to Tobias and I am kind of in awe that she would feel that way, especially after all the corruption or perhaps it is just the drastic change that makes her afraid because it is a given that things can never return to normal for them. 

"By the time the fight dies down, my clothes are more paint-colored than black.  I decide to keep the shirt to remind me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive.  Because they are free."

In that moment I am also reminded why I love the Dauntless, why I would have choose them also.  So much had changed, so much destruction and damage already done.  A faction divided, in the mist of a war and they find a moment to just be alive and free.

"I think we cry to release the animal parts of us within losing our humanity.  Because inside me is a beast that snarls, and growls, and strains toward freedom, toward Tobias, and above all, toward life.  As hard as I try, I cannot kill it."

So raw so real...

"Who told me what three factions you had an aptitude for, and what our best chance was to get you to come here, and to put your mother in the last simulation to make it more effective." She(Jeanine) looks towards the doorway as the sedative sets in, making everything blur at the edges.  I look over my shoulder, and through the haze of drugs I see him.
   Caleb.

CALEB! Faction before blood! Oh no he didn't! Yes he did and the hits keep coming for Tris.

"And I broke her.  I broke her."

I feel satisfied with Tris when she declares that she can't be controlled to Jeanine and as she breaks her.  I absolutely love it and I smile feeling like a mad woman myself. 

"My family is all dead, or traitors; how can I..."
   I am not making any sense.  The sobs take over my body, my mind, everything.  He gathers me to him, and bathwater soaks my legs.  His hold is tight.  I listen to his heartbeat and, after a while, find a way to let the rhythm calm me. 
  "I'll be your family now," he says.
  "I love you," I say."

Finally, after what seems like forever she says it back to him where he can hear it!  I wonder if that is a part of his wall, he told her so long before, he knew he loved her, but it took her a while to say it back.  Did he doubt that she loved him, that she could love him? I think it is possible.

"Tobias sits on the floor, his back against the coffee table. Every part of his posture suggests ease--one leg bent, the other straight, an arm slung across his knee, his head tilted to listen.  I have never seen him look so comfortable without a gun.  I didn't think it was possible."

I soon realize that Tobias wasn't cut out for Dauntless and he does seem very comfortable among the factionless.  The factionless have always been the dreaded, Tris even said all she could imagine without factions was "chaos and isolation" but it wasn't that at all.  It seems normal to us in the real world, I mean not all of it, but I mean life without the factions.

"This lie - this lie is the worst I have ever told.  I will never be able to take it back."

Tris sides with Marcus behind Tobias' back, she is after truth and Tobias is after destruction with his mother.  I was with Tris all the way and I never trusted Evelyn, I didn't like the way she treated Tris, she treated her like she was nobody, like she wasn't there.  Could Tobias not see that?  If it was reversed I feel Tris would see it, but perhaps the small child in  Tobias just craves his mother.

"Insurgent," he says. "Noun. A person who acts in opposition to the established authority, who is not necessarily regarded as a belligerent." -Fernando, Insurgent

86% of the way into the book and we finally find out what Insurgent means... Thank you!

Okay so something bothers me and perhaps I need to reread, but when Tris and Christina leave with Marcus to the Amity where does Tobias think she is?  They ask Peter why he isn't eating dinner with his attack group.  Did the groups already detach themselves from everyone else, so Tobias doesn't notice that she is gone or what?  If someone could clear that up for me it would be great, thanks!

Tris and Tobias are on a mission wanting different out comes and when they come head to head you feel like all the air is sucked out of the room.  Her friends and the love of her life is seeing her as a traitor and I just want to scream and shout in her honor because the truth is more important and Tobias should trust her instincts by now.

"I have to pause and take a breath, because I have not convinced him; I have failed, and this is probably the last thing they will let me say before they arrest me.

"I think that you are the liar!" I say, my voice quaking.  "You tell me you love me, you trust me, you think I'm more perceptive than the average person.  And the first second that belief in my perceptiveness, the trust, that love is put to the test, it all falls apart. So you must have lied when you told me all those things... you must have, because I can't believe your love is really that feeble."
"I am still that person who would have died rather than kill you." "I am exactly who you think I am. And right now, I'm telling you that I know...I know this information will change everything we have done, and everything we are about to do."

My heart breaks, he doesn't believe her, he chooses not to believe her.

"You were right." Tobias says.."I do know who you are. I just needed to be reminded."

Pieces of my heart fold back together.  I'm telling you ROLLER COASTER RIDE!

"My name is Edith Prior," she says. "and there is much I am happy to forget."

Boy does Mrs. Roth know how to end a book?  Yes she does and I am sure the next will be just as much of a roller coaster ride for me.  Agree or disagree, I would love to hear your thoughts and take on the book, in a respectful manor of course.  We all are subject to our opinions.